Let’s throw some shoes

I like it; it’s certainly more interesting than the old bourgeois insult of the middle finger. And there’s quite a long list of people I’d like to throw a shoe at.

Shoe throwing might be a good way for American society to reconnect with its roots. Over the last 20 years or so, the divide between the middle class and the political class and their corporate benefactors has widened.

There are two Americas: The political and corporate elites who live off the work of others; and the rest of us whose taxes and economic dollars fund the lifestyles of the elites.

Maybe we could start by lining up all our Congressmen and allow American citizens to throw shoes at them. And maybe we should toss our workboots at those three nitwit CEOs from the American automotive companies who don’t seem to have a clue about how real Americans live.

There’re a lot of bureaucrats, politicians and corporate robber barons in this nation outside of Washington who need shoes thrown at them.
High on that list would be the governor of Illinois, who was arrested last week on corruption charges after he tried to sell the vacant Senate seat of President Elect Obama.

The people of Illinois probably wouldn’t throw shoes at the (bleeping) guy who was caught on tape trying to (bleeping) sell the seat to the highest (bleeping) bidder. They seem to like corrupt politicians in Illinois, having convicted a number of public officials in recent years. After Illinois, Louisiana looks like a kindergarten class when it comes to corruption.

Another target of shoe throwers should be the greedy Wall Street investment bankers who endangered the U.S. financial system with their mortgage schemes. Many bailed out of the system with millions of dollars while homeowners and investors were left with foreclosures and worthless stocks. Some folks were left homeless and shoeless because of bad financial mortgage management.

And what about the guy on Wall Street who stole billions from investors with his giant Ponzi scheme; he deserves a few shoes for all the little guys he bilked, although it’s difficult to feel much sympathy for the Palm Beach and Hollywood super-rich he cheated.

Closer to home, let’s throw a few shoes at government officials who simply don’t “get it.” In Gwinnett County, which is struggling like all local governments with declining revenues, officials met to discuss how to make more budget cuts; but they met at a North Georgia resort at a cost of $15,000 to taxpayers. They don’t get it; throw a shoe.

And state education officials also need a few shoes thrown their way. Nobody can screw up education like the education establishment, which continues to tinker with classes and curriculum.

Now the state department of education has delayed the results of 9th grade math testing until the spring. Why? Probably because those tests results are likely to be bad. The state educrats who screwed up 9th graders don’t want to answer to the Legislature this winter. They all deserve a shoe toss.

There are probably some people who’d like to throw a shoe at newspaper editors. As the bearer of bad news, the messenger often gets blamed for messages people don’t like.

That’s OK. I need a new pair of shoes. If you throw one my way, make it a size 10.5.

Mike Buffington is editor of The Jackson Herald. He can be reached at mike@mainstreetnews.com.